In the 1930s, Doctor George W. Crane developed a marital rating scale that allowed husbands to assess their wives and vice versa. Any wife could get −1 point for painting her nails red or going to sleep with curlers in her hair. It’s scary to imagine what the reasons for quarrels between spouses were back then. Almost 100 years have passed since then and the definition of a good wife has changed. In this article, we are going to figure out what requirements men have for their chosen ones and what they want from their relationship in general.
We compiled a list of the most wide-spread beliefs of what men really want. We managed to refute some of them, but others turned out to be very tenacious.
1. Men like honest women.
It was formerly believed that all men were crazy about being flattered and praised. But Rinatta Paries, a professional coach and marriage expert, claims that honesty is appreciated by men just as much as faithfulness, respect, and physical attractiveness.
Men want to hear the truth from their women. Yes! The truth, not criticism. Generally speaking, a perfect wife is the one that expresses her opinion honestly without judgment.
2. Men are not against chatting about life.
As strange as it might seem, men are not against empty chatter. Contrary to the established belief, men don’t like women who always stay silent — they are truly interested in how things are going at your end. We’re not joking.
A speaker at Kansas State University and a talented writer Deji Akingbade claims that one of the main reasons for families splitting up is the lack of communication. If you have nothing to talk about, it’s a very alarming signal. Communication helps you understand each other’s feelings, at lease until we learn to read each other’s minds.
3. Men are more romantic than women.
An American cyberpsychologist and an expert in interpersonal relationships, Gwendolyn Seidman, did a comparative analysis dedicated to men’s and women’s levels of being romantic and came to an interesting conclusion. As it turns out, men outclass women in romance. It’s the bright emotions that matter for them in love and, as a rule, they are usually the first to confess their feelings. Women, in turn, are more pragmatic and choosy in selecting a life partner.
4. Men like women with makeup.
Most men claim that there is nothing better than natural beauty but that’s a lie. According to an American dating site, women that apply makeup and style their hair get more dating proposals. So, physical attractiveness and brightness are features that are still appreciated by men.
5. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
Homemade food is important for men. Patrick Wanis, a psychologist and a coach in the sphere of romantic relationships, is sure that cooking has a sacred meaning.
Appetizing smells create a feeling of coziness. Additionally, men feel extremely happy that their beloved woman performed this feat and learned to cook a really complicated recipe. Men like womenthat cook for them and this is not a stereotype.
6. Men don’t like any attention from the public.
If you can’t imagine your life without Facebook or Instagram and you are able to easily share details of your personal life with the public, keep in mind that this may alarm those around you. Men are wary of dubious popularity on social networks and they don’t dream of becoming the hero of public gossip. Psychologists claim that men prefer to avoid any extra attention and appreciate women that can keep their personal life a secret.
7. Men like self-sufficient women.
A sweet little fool that listens to her man with an open mouth will always lose to a self-confident and self-sufficient woman. Why? It’s all very simple: a self-sufficient woman is an equal partner in the relationship. You’ll be able to overcome any troubles together. A strong woman is a reliable back-up.
But this is not the only reason — self-sufficient women are self-confident and are satisfied with their life, which means they are not irritable.
8. Men need personal space.
An authoritative psychologist, Deborah Tannen, says that according to her observations, women strive to spend all their free time with their beloved, while men prefer to keep their independence and spend time alone. In this situation, every family should be searching for the perfect balance in their relationships. But most experts agree that choking love and pathological jealousy can destroy even the strongest family.
9. Men aren’t always thinking about sex.
The stereotype that men think only about one thing is totally outdated. Jed Diamond, an American psychologist, says that it’s women who are partially guilty for the appearance of this stereotype. All because they wait for a certain type of behavior from their partner — bold and a little rude.
In fact, it’s not only physical closeness that’s important for men, but also the feeling of a quiet harbor, warmth, and understanding. Trust us, the strong half of our planet is already quite tired of proving that they’re macho.
10. Men are not afraid of making their relationship official.
Men are actually not afraid of marriage but they are very careful when starting new relationships and try to avoid rash decisions.
Recent studies held at Binghamton University in the US show that it takes more time and emotion for men to overcome a breakup. And according to statistics, women are ready to get married at a much earlier age than men. Neuroscientists explain this gap by the fact that the female brain, in comparison with the male, reaches maturity earlier.
Anyway, it’s important to understand the emotional needs of your partner and care about him. If you do it, then no fear will be able to overshadow your future.
11. Men dream about having sons and daughters equally.
It is generally believed that all men dream of having a son because sons continue the family name. They can be taken fishing and share the common interest of watching football together. However, according to a survey conducted by the Institute of Gallup in 2011, most respondents dream of a baby girl. Psychologists explain this tendency by the fact that future parents are scared of problems that may arise while raising a boy — pranks, fights, and possible issues at school.
Today, many Internet users say approximately the same thing — in the modern world, a kid’s gender doesn’t matter and comparing whether boys or girls are better is unacceptable.